Friday, July 20, 2007

Woman's Period Celebrates 10th Year of Being The Excuse for Everything

A friend of mine once told me about how she managed to skip Physical Education classes for 2 years. Not because she's into non-fitness or anything, but she was going out with some guy who did not want anyone perving at his girlfriend in her shorts and tee-shirt. During the tenure of their relationship, she managed to accumulate an impressive wardrobe of thick baggy jeans and khakis, thick sweaters and button-up long-sleeve collared shirts. No, he's not from the Middle East, just an old fashioned Chinese guy.

So how did you skip PE for 2 years? I asked.

Oh. Just told the teacher every single time that I was having my period.

An ex-colleague of mine used to submit her employment resignation letter every other month, and her boss let her take it back each time on account of how she only did it because of her period-related mood swings. In Indonesia, it's the law - every female employee is entitled to 2 days' period leave per month. But it must be taken consecutively... I guess it reduces the incidence of period-related resignations.

What next? Man walks into a room, there's blood on the ceiling, blood on the walls, more blood on the floor and a woman is washing her blood stained hands in the sink.

What happened here?! He screams.

Oh nothing. I'm just having my period.

12 Comments:

At 1:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's when your friend comes in and cleans up the place for you and removes the stains after disposing of the body in the vat of acid....

 
At 1:52 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

oh no wonder you never needed the bra till.... well. good news is, you'd probably then be menopausing a decade later than the rest of us. 10 yrs more of excuse. you'd think, who'd believe a 60 yr old complaining that she's ceanky from "the time of the month" thus refusing to serve up big macs quickly enuff in a fast food joint. but you, you...they'd believe.

 
At 1:54 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

cRanky, I mean. I lost a finger in yer office the udder day...

 
At 3:22 PM, Blogger the VirginPornStar said...

I use my period as an excuse for everything. You'd be amazed how much people will do for you when it's that "time of the month", just so they don't have to listen to stories of how bad your period is today and how much you're bleeding.

 
At 3:41 PM, Blogger Fore! said...

I make it a rule never to trust anything that repeatedly bleeds for 5 days but then doesn't die.

 
At 9:28 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

how about something that bleeds for 7 and STILL doesn't die? talk about bleedin' tough. who dares?

 
At 10:32 PM, Anonymous kwonghou said...

the last bit sounds a little quentin tarantino.

 
At 8:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

they used to call me gremlin teenlito.

 
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