Monday, July 09, 2007

The Feet of God

The Husband is always going on about the weird stuff that I eat and how if ET had landed in China instead of The America, he would not have had the opportunity to phone home unless there was a phone in the wok or just next to it.

Well last night, during a misguided attempt to reach Quentin's (a yummy Eurasian restaurant), which is not at the junction of Joo Chiat and Marine Parade as previously believed but in fact opposite Margarita's at East Coast Road, we ended up at the Smelly Tofu Place next to Obolo's Cheesecake, where my mother, all nostalgic about her formative years spent in Kowloon, orders the "Deep Fried Tofu Of A Slightly Strong Odour".

Can we have the small size please, I ask the waitress.

Sorry oly 1 sie, she replies. Ok then.

Looking back, I'm just glad I had about 5 minutes alone with my Oyster-Flavour Vermicelli before the Tofu arrived. After one whiff, my stomach slammed into reverse gear and started pushing the stuff back up. It smelt like the time I left Campbell's Vegetable Soup in a vacuum flask in my school locker over the weekend and then attempted to consume it. It was all I could do to remain seated at the table. I was amazed that The Son could continue sleeping through the meal - I thought the smell was enough to make him wake up crying.

The smell is simply atrocious. Unspeakably atrocious. I have never smelt anything so vile in my life, and this mind you has been a life spent eating durian, fermented baby squid, sea cucumber guts, pig brain, snails (not escargo), chut chut, fish sperm and a whole lotta pig guts. Truly this is the first time in my life that I have faced off against a gross foodstuff and not eaten it. I have met my Waterloo and it is Smelly Tofu.

Oh you should try deep fried locust, said my mother as we watched her liberate the very last chunk of Smelly Tofu from its earthly existence. It's nice you know. Crunchy.

Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, I cannot sit in my office eating toast with Tetsuya's truffle butter salsa without people streaming in to complain that "Wooh! That smells really strong!"


At 11:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hhahahahaha .......................See what happens when you do not orientate yourself to your new neighborhood!

At 10:00 PM, Blogger knobby said...

In Taiwan, they happily call it Stinky Tofu, a name far more appropriate in my opinion, given that you can smell it at the end of your queue two blocks away from the stall selling it. No exaggeration. The fried version is for sissies (such as yours truly). True connoisseurs and Fear Factor contestants go for the steamed variety.

At 10:18 PM, Blogger eyes said...

The singapore stinky tofu IS actually quite vile because its over fried and does not come with the pickled vegetables and sweet chilli sauce like the taiwanese version :D

At 12:13 PM, Anonymous qkk said...

oh goodness. the steamed variety. tried it once, was suitably traumatised. it makes the fried smelly one taste like normal tofu.

At 7:36 PM, Blogger Tym said...

Try Quentin's soon! It's extremely yummy, I eat there at least once a month.

At 12:02 AM, Blogger gremlin said...

oly one sie! hahahahaha! that one, I still can understand. try the ocbc customer service line - whoa. that one, super killer. catch no ball. twice. finally understood "iglor stat-men". phew. I think.

At 2:44 AM, Anonymous shelly said...

Oooh. That happens to be one of my FAVE eating places. And my fave dish is the one that made your gut work so hard to regurgitate its contents... :D

What's so bad about it? It only smells like stinky drains/toilets...

I ADORE smelly beancurd.

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