Friday, March 09, 2007

Adult Tears

are so very different from baby tears.

They seem to come from deep within a well that has long been written-off as dry and dusty. Before the tear track makes its way down a single cheek, all the mental barriers come down again and no one can recall why they were even sad in the first place.

A friend of mine went to get some professional help after years of feeling that something wasn't quite right. After introducing herself to the therapist, he said, tell me about your family and she broke down without saying a word (yes, he literally had her at hello). They got through 3 sessions and he never went beyond hello. Finally, she told me as I laughed myself silly, he told her she could spend thousands of dollars on therapy and never find out what was the problem. Or she could just take Prozac (at a tiny fraction of the cost).

What kind of fucked up therapy is that? I asked.

That's a good therapist, she said. He sees crazy people every day. He knows there's a limit. Says there's millions of people out there with some big time issues but they never think about or even know about these issues because they're so busy achieving the next thing. Getting through school, getting that degree, getting that job, getting that promotion, hitting the maximum pay level in their chosen career. They could be well into their forties by the time they reach a plateau when there's nothing left to achieve. Then the big crazy issues that've been suppressed all this time will catch up with them. So keep yourself busy, hon. And take your pill.

So why do I get so upset when I come here? she asked him.

Because I'm different, he said. When you meet people in your everyday life, all of your mental barriers are up and full-on. You are in control because you deal within your sphere of comfort. So even if you talk about things that hit on your big crazy issues, even if you are aware of some problems you have inside, you control what you share, whom you talk to, what you say, when you end that conversation. With me, you are out of your comfort zone and your barriers are completely down. So these are your baby tears.

13 Comments:

At 2:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I disagree with psychiatrist who subscribe to the biological model for depression. It's like give you the drugs make you feel high keep yourself busy. The issue not address, the problem continues, the pharma rake profits. Maybe one of those prozac nation books would help shake them up abit. Disappointing I can only offer a prayer for your friend.

 
At 11:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smootie,

Meditation is the best way to go.
To extract one out of one's discontentment, one has to do so from within...

I agree with anyonymous.
To think that by popping a tiny pill, it will help my coping mechanism to function properly! The person who invented the drug must be the happiest person on earth since he/she has found the key to happiness/ contentment in that esoteric chemistry formula!

It's making me wonder if the prozac is a placebo after all....

 
At 3:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smoot, This is my story too. I still take my pills and I definitely feel better. Thank you for sharing the story. It made me smile. I have also forwarded it to some of my friends that I dared cry baby tears in front of.

 
At 5:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that pills should only be the means to an end... But at the end of the day, I guess it's more about what the client wants. It might have been better for the psychologist to remain objective and present a range of methods (eg. cognitive, behavioural, etc.) to deal with the issue and let the client decide (after clearly explaining the advantages and disadvantages of each method), instead of only recommending drugs.

 
At 11:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it's a fight just to survive everyday, then anti-depressants will help a person to cope. I agree w/dilettantep that meditation will help. I honestly think that there are millions of people walking around depressed because their lives are TOO busy. People need to slow down. Therapy helped me learn coping mechanisms. You have to find the right therapist though. Good luck.

 
At 10:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My daily tears are all caused by your friend! I need more than pills for sure.

 
At 1:18 AM, Blogger expat@large said...

According to The Happiness Hypothesis, three things work for those with 'downer' psyches:

Meditation.
Cognitive Therapy - think about what you are doing and how it makes you feel - (what Jack Nicholson was doing in As Good As It Gets).
SRIs like prozac.

Go figure. I thought just saying "snap out of it" would work fine.

 
At 10:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really hate H & K.
please convey.

 
At 2:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dun know you, But I felt soothed leaving some personal feelings in your blog. For the past 7 months, I had been tearing, and almost dehydrated... Its so painful to tear and its so tiring to cry. But i can only do that to close my eyes to get some miserable sleep to contain my sanity. Its all bottled inside me, and I really have no one to share to ..And I hope do not mind me leaving unrelated stuff here ...

 
At 9:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When is he both gonna stop hurting ? And your friend must know!

 
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