Friday, March 09, 2007

Adult Tears

are so very different from baby tears.

They seem to come from deep within a well that has long been written-off as dry and dusty. Before the tear track makes its way down a single cheek, all the mental barriers come down again and no one can recall why they were even sad in the first place.

A friend of mine went to get some professional help after years of feeling that something wasn't quite right. After introducing herself to the therapist, he said, tell me about your family and she broke down without saying a word (yes, he literally had her at hello). They got through 3 sessions and he never went beyond hello. Finally, she told me as I laughed myself silly, he told her she could spend thousands of dollars on therapy and never find out what was the problem. Or she could just take Prozac (at a tiny fraction of the cost).

What kind of fucked up therapy is that? I asked.

That's a good therapist, she said. He sees crazy people every day. He knows there's a limit. Says there's millions of people out there with some big time issues but they never think about or even know about these issues because they're so busy achieving the next thing. Getting through school, getting that degree, getting that job, getting that promotion, hitting the maximum pay level in their chosen career. They could be well into their forties by the time they reach a plateau when there's nothing left to achieve. Then the big crazy issues that've been suppressed all this time will catch up with them. So keep yourself busy, hon. And take your pill.

So why do I get so upset when I come here? she asked him.

Because I'm different, he said. When you meet people in your everyday life, all of your mental barriers are up and full-on. You are in control because you deal within your sphere of comfort. So even if you talk about things that hit on your big crazy issues, even if you are aware of some problems you have inside, you control what you share, whom you talk to, what you say, when you end that conversation. With me, you are out of your comfort zone and your barriers are completely down. So these are your baby tears.

18 Comments:

At 2:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I disagree with psychiatrist who subscribe to the biological model for depression. It's like give you the drugs make you feel high keep yourself busy. The issue not address, the problem continues, the pharma rake profits. Maybe one of those prozac nation books would help shake them up abit. Disappointing I can only offer a prayer for your friend.

 
At 11:09 AM, Anonymous dilettanteP said...

Smootie,

Meditation is the best way to go.
To extract one out of one's discontentment, one has to do so from within...

I agree with anyonymous.
To think that by popping a tiny pill, it will help my coping mechanism to function properly! The person who invented the drug must be the happiest person on earth since he/she has found the key to happiness/ contentment in that esoteric chemistry formula!

It's making me wonder if the prozac is a placebo after all....

 
At 3:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smoot, This is my story too. I still take my pills and I definitely feel better. Thank you for sharing the story. It made me smile. I have also forwarded it to some of my friends that I dared cry baby tears in front of.

 
At 5:32 PM, Anonymous passerby said...

I think that pills should only be the means to an end... But at the end of the day, I guess it's more about what the client wants. It might have been better for the psychologist to remain objective and present a range of methods (eg. cognitive, behavioural, etc.) to deal with the issue and let the client decide (after clearly explaining the advantages and disadvantages of each method), instead of only recommending drugs.

 
At 11:50 PM, Anonymous Cory said...

If it's a fight just to survive everyday, then anti-depressants will help a person to cope. I agree w/dilettantep that meditation will help. I honestly think that there are millions of people walking around depressed because their lives are TOO busy. People need to slow down. Therapy helped me learn coping mechanisms. You have to find the right therapist though. Good luck.

 
At 10:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My daily tears are all caused by your friend! I need more than pills for sure.

 
At 1:18 AM, Blogger expat@large said...

According to The Happiness Hypothesis, three things work for those with 'downer' psyches:

Meditation.
Cognitive Therapy - think about what you are doing and how it makes you feel - (what Jack Nicholson was doing in As Good As It Gets).
SRIs like prozac.

Go figure. I thought just saying "snap out of it" would work fine.

 
At 10:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really hate H & K.
please convey.

 
At 2:00 AM, Anonymous Lost Baby Soul said...

I dun know you, But I felt soothed leaving some personal feelings in your blog. For the past 7 months, I had been tearing, and almost dehydrated... Its so painful to tear and its so tiring to cry. But i can only do that to close my eyes to get some miserable sleep to contain my sanity. Its all bottled inside me, and I really have no one to share to ..And I hope do not mind me leaving unrelated stuff here ...

 
At 9:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When is he both gonna stop hurting ? And your friend must know!

 
At 4:02 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

nike free, kate spade handbags, nike air max, michael kors outlet, christian louboutin, coach purses, oakley vault, tiffany and co jewelry, christian louboutin outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, coach outlet store online, tory burch outlet, louis vuitton outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, coach outlet, louis vuitton outlet, jordan shoes, chanel handbags, louis vuitton, kate spade outlet online, louis vuitton handbags, polo ralph lauren outlet, burberry outlet online, red bottom shoes, true religion outlet, longchamp handbags, ray ban outlet, true religion, prada outlet, michael kors outlet online, tiffany jewelry, gucci handbags, polo ralph lauren, michael kors outlet online, oakley sunglasses, christian louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet store, michael kors outlet online, nike air max, longchamp outlet, nike shoes, longchamp outlet online, prada handbags, michael kors outlet online, coach outlet, burberry outlet online

 
At 4:15 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

longchamp pas cher, chaussure louboutin, longchamp, nike air force, nike free, hollister, sac michael kors, vans pas cher, nike air max, nike air max, converse pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, lacoste pas cher, nike blazer pas cher, new balance pas cher, louis vuitton, louis vuitton pas cher, oakley pas cher, ralph lauren, air jordan, lululemon, mulberry, timberland, guess pas cher, burberry pas cher, louis vuitton uk, sac vanessa bruno, true religion outlet, michael kors uk, nike roshe, nike free pas cher, barbour, ray ban uk, nike roshe run, hollister, air max pas cher, tn pas cher, ray ban pas cher, north face, air max, sac louis vuitton, scarpe hogan, hermes pas cher, true religion jeans, michael kors canada, ralph lauren pas cher, north face pas cher

 
At 4:19 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

north face jackets, birkin bag, ugg soldes, p90x workout, ferragamo shoes, mac cosmetics, marc jacobs outlet, nike huarache, bottega veneta, babyliss pro, ghd, north face outlet, mcm handbags, herve leger, uggs outlet, canada goose outlet, insanity workout, giuseppe zanotti, soccer jerseys, rolex watches, jimmy choo shoes, canada goose outlet, celine handbags, mont blanc pens, ugg, beats headphones, ugg boots, chi flat iron, uggs on sale, canada goose, soccer shoes, wedding dresses, asics shoes, hollister, valentino shoes, reebok shoes, longchamp, lululemon outlet, ugg outlet, new balance outlet, abercrombie and fitch, nfl jerseys, vans outlet, roshe run, canada goose outlet, nike trainers, instyler ionic styler

 
At 4:23 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

air max, juicy couture outlet, louboutin, canada goose, wedding dress, louis vuitton canada, canada goose, ralph lauren, uggs canada, moncler outlet, thomas sabo uk, replica watches, parajumpers outlet, gucci, pandora jewelry, converse shoes, hollister clothing, nike air max, swarovski jewelry, converse, karen millen, montre femme, coach outlet, swarovski uk, timberland shoes, moncler, moncler, hollister, supra shoes, pandora charms, ray ban, links of london uk, oakley, juicy couture outlet, moncler, lancel, canada goose uk, toms outlet, baseball bats, pandora uk, iphone 6 case, vans, ugg, moncler, canada goose pas cher, hollister canada, moncler, moncler

 
At 9:36 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, tory burch outlet, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, longchamp outlet, burberry, louboutin shoes, ray ban sunglasses, prada handbags, louis vuitton outlet, gucci outlet, louis vuitton, chanel handbags, longchamp, michael kors outlet, louboutin outlet, nike free, ugg boots, polo ralph lauren outlet, oakley sunglasses, nike air max, replica watches, christian louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, longchamp outlet, tiffany jewelry, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, kate spade outlet, prada outlet, nike outlet, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet, uggs on sale, louboutin, tiffany and co, louis vuitton, burberry outlet online, nike air max, jordan shoes, ugg boots, cheap oakley sunglasses

 
At 9:39 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

ray ban pas cher, kate spade handbags, nike roshe, vans pas cher, lacoste pas cher, nike roshe run, abercrombie and fitch, true religion jeans, timberland, nike air max, coach factory outlet, true religion outlet, burberry, michael kors, coach purses, vanessa bruno, michael kors, converse pas cher, hollister pas cher, nike blazer, michael kors, oakley pas cher, tn pas cher, ray ban uk, mulberry, louboutin pas cher, hogan, ralph lauren uk, michael kors, coach outlet, sac guess, new balance pas cher, air force, nike free, lululemon, ralph lauren pas cher, coach outlet, north face, hermes, nike air max, true religion jeans, nike air max, sac longchamp, hollister, true religion jeans, north face, longchamp pas cher, air max, air jordan pas cher, nike free run uk

 
At 9:41 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louboutin, birkin bag, hollister, longchamp, ghd, insanity workout, nike roshe, beats by dre, hollister, oakley, nike air max, jimmy choo shoes, celine handbags, hollister, asics running shoes, gucci, giuseppe zanotti, vans, wedding dresses, timberland boots, mont blanc, north face outlet, valentino shoes, bottega veneta, soccer jerseys, mcm handbags, chi flat iron, lululemon, ray ban, abercrombie and fitch, new balance, ralph lauren, mac cosmetics, north face outlet, iphone 6 cases, nike air max, instyler, babyliss, herve leger, baseball bats, nfl jerseys, ferragamo shoes, nike trainers, reebok shoes, nike huarache, converse outlet, p90x workout, converse, vans shoes, soccer shoes

 
At 9:46 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

toms shoes, moncler, pandora charms, pandora jewelry, michael kors handbags, barbour, replica watches, moncler, doudoune canada goose, pandora charms, wedding dresses, doke gabbana outlet, canada goose, louis vuitton, bottes ugg, barbour jackets, louis vuitton, karen millen, michael kors outlet, marc jacobs, pandora jewelry, moncler, louis vuitton, supra shoes, juicy couture outlet, montre pas cher, moncler, canada goose outlet, ugg pas cher, swarovski crystal, links of london, juicy couture outlet, moncler outlet, moncler, canada goose, canada goose uk, louis vuitton, lancel, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, canada goose outlet, canada goose, michael kors outlet online, hollister, moncler, moncler, ugg boots uk, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, thomas sabo, canada goose, swarovski, sac louis vuitton pas cher, coach outlet

 

Post a Comment

<< Home