Friday, October 27, 2006

On the Ingterneck, no one can hear you scream

The ceiling in my office has been dripping water for 2 weeks now. Workmen and building management have been contacted, secretary was supposed to follow up with them (again, for the 3rd time this year) on getting the thing repaired, like, permanently and not just 5 days or 5 hours at a time. Secretary came back from leave, looked up and said "Oh! It's still leaking!"
Have been chasing for payment of an invoice for a while. Client finally wrote back to say they never received the invoice. Before calling them on it, I checked with the secretary.

Was this invoice ever sent out?


Why not?

There seems to be some confusion. The invoice appears to have been mistaken for something else.

Who was confused? Who was mistaken?


WHO the fuck IS US?
Client calls and leaves a message that they want to discuss an invoice. I grab the file and all their invoices, then call them back. Surely I'm ready for anything.

Client says: You've sent us the invoice of another client. Did you send our invoice to the other party too?

I asked the secretary (I think 'asked' is putting it very mildly): How did you manage to send the wrong invoice to the client?

Came the cryptic response: Don't know. Not sure how it happened. (Outlook is uncertain. Try again later).

I think I've gotten clearer responses from a magic 8-ball. Or reading tea leaves. Or looking at the veins throbbing on my forehead, for God's sake.
My favorite is still the library catalogue incident. I order the books for our library, hand them over. She's supposed to update the library catalogue which lists the books by subject matter, e.g. "Banking", "Company Law", etc.

I asked for a copy of the catalogue to send to a colleague. Checked it before sending. Asked her: Where are the new books? I don't see any mention in the catalogue.

It's not been updated. I'll update it.

Urgently please? I need to send it out.

Monday comes. She's on leave. I open my emails, see something sent to me on Saturday afternoon. So she came back to the office over the weekend to work on this. I felt a twinge of guilt. Then I scrolled through 30+ pages of a word document - nothing updated. Then I got to the last page where there was a new category of subject entitled "New Books". Everything was listed there, in no particular order. And believe me, I can confirm that it's really possible to laugh and weep at the same time.


At 6:14 PM, Blogger valkyrie said...

i stand firm by my opinion expressed last night. :)

At 6:27 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

NNNnnnnhhhhNnnnhHHHHnnHHh (*shakes fist at the sky impotently*)

At 4:15 PM, Blogger ene said...

I just recently finished reading "The Devil Wears Prada" and after reading this post, immediately thought that if you were Miranda Priestly, your assistant would have had the new books prepared in front of you, categorised into all possible orders (alphabetical, hard-to-soft covers, bright-to-dark shade, etc) before you even asked for it.


And I'm sorry to read that your ceiling is *still* leaking.

At 8:37 AM, Blogger Indiana said...

Sounds like someone needs a new secretary.

At 10:18 AM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Hi ene! Yes, I read that too. I almost started crying when I read about how her "callback" lists were updated to the minute. TO THE MINUTE.

For me, I'm delighted and touched when the telephone messages get to me within the same morning/ afternoon, with the name spelt correctly and (gasp! dare I even expect!) the telephone number, with all digits present and accurate.

My favorite is still "CHRIST CALLED. WILL CALL AGAIN." although that was someone else's phone message.

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