Thursday, April 12, 2007

Local Girl Broaches to Boss the Non-Emotional Benefits of Matching Private Sector Pay to Public Sector Pay

I was actually very pleased with my current salary until I read the recent media reports about the pay hike for ministers, then I was inspired to achieve new heights of pay-rise-dom.

SM Oot: Key Task is to Build Best Team for Company's Future

Dear Boss

I would you to consider, in a non-emotional and non-quibbly way, whether our company would be better off if a wider pay gap makes it harder to attract potential employees? My recent request for (yet another) pay rise notwithstanding that you gave me a pay rise just a few weeks ago is not for my sake, but to ensure that our company can gather the best possible team to lead it into the future.

I do not think it wise for a lawyer to stay on the job until the age of 70. In fact, if you give me the pay rise that I have asked for, I promise you I will only stay on the job for another 6 months, after which I will gladly retire. In this regard, and if you are intending to remit the funds to me within the next 3 days, the search for a potential replacement has to start now.

Please don't glare at me just because you've seen the numbers for the further pay rise that I am asking for. Please keep your focus firmly on our company's future. If the gap between our company employees and ministers is wider or widening, will it make it easier or harder for me to assemble a new team? The annual salaries of ministers at the starting grade goes up this month from S$1.2 million to S$1.6 million. Who would want to join our company now that they can earn this kind of money as a minister? Now everyone will want to be a minister. Please bear in mind that I am also eligible to become a minister. Every minute that I am spending in your employment is another minute that I am not spending as a minister. You don't need to thank me in words. Just pick up your cheque book and let your actions speak for themselves.

Please also think about what kind of employees you want. The way I refrain from asking clients for bribes every single day is an example of how a clean employee with integrity operates. The way I do not insist on selecting foie gras as my appetizer and beef tenderloin as the main course in every possible client lunch is also another positive attribute that I strongly believe you should take into consideration.

I agree that the timing of my pay hike might not be good, given our recent pay hike in March. I have to let you know that I even considered waiting a year, which might have been easier to explain to you and which you might also have seen as showing "more sensitivity".

But the reality is there is never a good time to raise pay, and the urgency to do so (as already explained above, don't make me insult your intelligence by repeating myself) sealed my decision. Please note, however, that I may seal another decision next week or even the day after tomorrow to ask for yet another pay rise but really this is only because I need this to persuade me not become a minister.

In closing, I would like to assure you that it is OK to pay top dollar for my sacrifices. In case you did not fully understand the logic and analysis of what I have just said, there will be repeat broadcasts later today at 2.30 pm, 4.30 pm, 6.30 pm and 9 pm.

15 Comments:

At 5:58 PM, Blogger ene said...

I just wanted to say that I was grinning while reading this entry but the last bit on the repeat telecasts got me laughing out loud literally.

Brilliant.

 
At 7:50 PM, Blogger sofia said...

"i need this to persuade me not to become a minister." i can find a lot of uses for this one. =)

the last bit on repeat broadcasts really cracked me up too. how about full provision of details in the government newsletter we call a newspaper?

 
At 2:24 AM, Blogger amaranth said...

you are great :)

 
At 3:05 AM, Blogger valkyrie said...

SM Oot - does this mean we can call you Ootie from now?

 
At 11:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

bravo, well said.

 
At 3:21 PM, Anonymous Harro! said...

its funny :)

 
At 7:13 PM, Anonymous Spline Hobs said...

This is funny So much

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