Golden Goose under House Arrest

So apparantly an excess of carbohydrates, stress and goodness knows what else can increase the risk of premature labour.

According to The Gynae, I hafta go home and lie down. For 2 weeks. Otherwise the new chicken will hatch. I think the whole lying down deal was great for about 15 minutes, after which I started to go quietly, and then noisily, insane. And that was the easy part. The hard part is the new diet.

When it comes to the new diet, The Gynae is Hard Core. Rather than to waste half an hour telling me what I can't eat, she decided it was easier to spend 30 seconds telling me what I can.

Brown rice
Brown spaghetti
Brown bread
Meat
Vegetables
Eggs
Almonds
Apples
Berries

As she rattled off this very short and depressing list, I heard her say the magic word chocolate.

What was that you said -chocolate?

Yes. Chocolate. You can have none.

I didn't find that funny at all, and neither did she. I guess you could say that consult ended on a rather grim note. I left, holding my very short list, medical certificate and a sack of medication.

How come all my guests want to check out early? I asked The Husband when he came to pick me up. The Son checked out a little early too, four years ago, just not this early.

I think it's because they don't like the food, said our resident comedian. All the entrees come with 5 desserts.

While it can be said that I did develop a sweet tooth during this pregnancy and the last one, I still believe there is nothing wrong with finishing 2 cakes every 3 or 4 days. Especially when they're chiffon cakes, which are mostly air. After all, air is calorie-free. I had originally planned to buy and eat an Awfully Chocolate plain chocolate cake after my visit to The Gynae, but I guess this will have to be postponed. It does not help that The Mother's idea of a snack for me during a long car trip is an entire pandan chiffon cake.

Spoke with The Mother on the phone today, meaning to tell her about the medical leave/ premature labour situation but somehow the conversation was misdirected to a request for additional blank cheques and how much is in your bank account now.

But I haven't been to work for the last week, as I have been on medical leave, said the Golden Goose.

Oh. Well, have you banked in your paycheque or not?

I have not. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I HAVE NOT BEEN TO WORK FOR THE LAST WEEK? bellowed the Golden Goose.

Errr.. ok. Why haven't you been to work for the last week, she finally asks.

As The Husband likes to say, the milk of human kindness flows through my family like bean curd.