Thursday, April 16, 2009

Look Ma, No Hands

It started off as an isolated incident at the wet market, but I realise it's getting to be quite the trend around these parts. Older women (the aunties) have decided to put their massive mountainous boobs to some good use and have started using them to PUSH PEOPLE ASIDE.

I blame it on the unnaturally stiff and conical bras they sell in the provision shops near the wet markets. Not only do they squeeze everything in and up, these bras manage to organise the giant masses of boob into something quite scary looking and also rather pointy. Don't I know it. I just had pointy smack into my back and arms about half an hour ago. I was trying to pay my bill at Kah Soh and so was auntie with Godzilla boobs. Unfortunately for me, auntie decided that her Godzilla boobs and I were intended to share the same airspace and at the same time. WHACK! went the right Godzilla boob into my left arm. I moved, very very quickly, to the right. SMOOSH! went both Godzilla boobs, into my back. And then SMACK went the left Godzilla boob, into my right arm. At this point, I just stepped right back and away, and glared at her. She didn't even notice. Just paid her bill first, chatted with her fellow Auntie McGiantBoob on the other side of the cashier's counter and left.

I'm not a homophobe, at least I don't think so, but it's really disconcerting to suddenly be given such intimate knowledge of some random auntie's privates when I'm trying to pay a restaurant tab. I felt like asking her what time she's coming home for dinner tonight.

12 Comments:

At 9:51 AM, Blogger The Dude said...

Counter-offensive tactic: tit for tit. :P

Go get yourself mega-conical bras and do likewise!

 
At 12:30 PM, OpenID madhairday said...

incidentally, as i discovered, it fossilised godzilla boobs are a useful battering ram to secure a spot on the train during peak hour.

i think she may have permanently damaged my back.

 
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