Thursday, August 23, 2007

Dun dun DUN!

Just when I thought I had left all the crazy neighbours behind, I find out (the hard way) that one of my neighbours has a tail. A little piggy tail. And he's not ashamed of it at all, no sirree.

So The Son and I were enjoying a nice afternoon swim in the diving pool when I saw out of the corner of my eye this big fat hairy Caucasian guy with a crazy smirk on his face advancing towards us. He clambors on top of the highest diving board, jumps up and down a few times and positions himself mid-air to do the biggest belly-flop I've ever seen. It was like a scene from a movie (The Perfect Storm?). All the water at the sides left the pool, all the water in the middle of the pool moved to the sides and The Son scrambles out of the pool, complaining that he is "scairt" of the "big water".

I glared at the big fat cannonball who is climbing out of the pool, hairy fat inch by inch, and then suddenly, to the horror of everyone watching, his pants slip down to expose his ass crack just a tiny little bit and a little pink tail pokes out to say hello.

Welcome to the neighbourhood.

22 Comments:

At 8:41 PM, Blogger Little Miss Drinkalot said...

At least it wasn't a brown tail.

 
At 9:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait a minuteeee... tiny pink tail slips out from the back or the front??? (Probably explains the need to create a tsunami to distract from the tiny pink tail.) Heh. Heh. Heh.

~ xena

 
At 9:46 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

OMG! you're so lying. you're sooo lying! OMG! move move MOVE! horrors. now i can't sleep. creepo.

 
At 8:26 AM, Blogger Indiana said...

WOW...a vestigial tail...most people have them chopped off as babies...

...so you sure something else was not poked back between the legs?

 
At 9:42 AM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

LMD: I still can't get over the fact that you got the whole "Tokyo Hot Dog Delight" thing the first time.

Xena: As a grown woman and a member of the human race, I'm almost completely certain that I can tell the difference between the front of a man and the back of a man.

Gremlin: I heard that people who play too much X-Box can also grow a tail.

Indy: As a grown woman and a member of the human race, I'm almost completely certain that I can tell the difference between the top of an ass crack and the bottom of an ass crack.

 
At 12:44 PM, Blogger Indiana said...

Wow as "a grown woman and a member of the human race" you know so much... :-)

I just find the saga of your neighbours a great source of amusmement...or a great source to be grossed out. LOL

 
At 11:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://www.dimaggio.org/images/Evolution/human_tail8.jpg

His tail look like this? Wah how come his mother didn't chop it off when he was a kid. Maybe you should send your mother to counsel him.

 
At 9:13 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

"Wow as "a grown woman and a member of the human race" you know so much... :-)"

I also say. LOL! how about the wii O-HairyD, o how about? the more the appendages the merrier, I say, anytime ;p I win. I know it.

 
At 2:42 PM, Blogger ene said...

I am truly intrigued and mortified at the same time.

 
At 7:45 PM, Blogger valkyrie said...

*shriek*

big water of horrors!

 
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At 8:27 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Gah! SPAMALOT!

Anon2: I couldn't access the website - restricted access only. Strangely enough, even Google cannot provide me with even a single photograph of the vestigial tail. It's like nobody dares to put up a pic. Or maybe the pics turn out all black so nothing ever gets posted. How creepy is that.

Ene/ Valkyrie: I will get a pic. Don't care how many weekends I have to stake out the pool with a camera in my phone. Poor me.

 
At 12:35 AM, Blogger gremlin said...

oh oh, HairyD, guess wat? I got a pic. no, no, not of the tail, but of ;p remind me so I can show ya. happy hols btw. c ya back soon.

 
At 6:54 PM, Blogger palmist said...

maybe this might help

 
At 11:44 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

palmist - oh Oh OH! [slams face shut with both palms] scareeeeeeee.

 
At 9:48 PM, Blogger knobby said...

You crack me up. And LMD is LMD!

Not that this is in any way related, but when's the next booze-fuelled (pseudo)intellectual chat session? I've been away for barely ten days and yet I feel like I need to rediscover all my friends.

 
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