Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Ageing Disgracefully

A male colleague I was chatting with yesterday (let's call him Dead Man Walking) mentioned in passing that I did not look like my photograph in the firm's website.

There was a notable pause after which blood started streaming out of my ears. I think my voice got so shrill in response that it went out of human hearing range, and only teenagers and dogs could hear me screaming.

I think he tried to explain and then gave up. No explaining necessary (or acceptable). Yes, I'm older now. I just have to accept it.

Youth is wasted on the young. I spent all of my 20s alternately worrying about my appearance and fretting about looking old. I never stopped to appreciate my face in the mirror, never looked at my lovely flat tummy and thin legs with any sense of satisfaction and self-fulfilment. I obsessed over my diet, my weight, my muscle tone, my skin tone, my hair .... but never spent more than fleeting moments actually thinking that I looked pretty damn cute. And that the low slung skin tight Levis jeans in my wardrobe would not fit me anymore in a few years time.

I read Sumiko Tan's article in the paper (of a similar sounding title, I recall) about ageing but it didn't really hit home until my colleague's remark. I can truly understand now how women can bring themselves to spend thousands of dollars and time and effort making themselves slimmer, prettier and more youthful looking. Now that I've been put on notice, it's all I can do to stop myself from jumping into the fray.

Someone once told me that I still looked incredibly youthful, as I jumped into his new Porsche. Who knows why people say the things they say.

Do I fight the inevitable or do I just resign myself to it. I recall my mother would get wolf whistles on the street from construction workers when she was in her late thirties and forties. At 13, I was fully aware that the wolf whistles were not meant for me, or my 10 year old brother.

Oh well. Glum now. Going home.


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At 8:54 AM, Blogger gremlin said...

back to school wardrobe! you're getting it rubbed in, aren't ya. man.

and harlow. age also makes you post the same thing twice? or angst?

can't beat me so dun worry lah. hardly any sleep, no personal space, no decent wardrobe, no bloody time for anything beauty-related whatsoever....where got time to look in the mirror even. I told this lady (in her 50s) that I'm 24 just the other day. all she said was 'oh'. then I admitted that I'm actually 10 years older. to which she said, "Ah!" great confidence booster that. turned my own joke against moi. ha ha. forget it. I'm just gonna apply for extreme makeover and pray like hell I get selected - nobody gets uglier than this one.

At 10:31 AM, Blogger The Screwy Skeptic said...

thanks for the wakeup call. youth is indeed wasted on the young. i've been worrying about body issues and skin issues and god-knows-what when i should occasionally appreciate the attributes i do possess. so thanks again.

p.s. i bet you're still hot.

At 11:03 AM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Oh shit. I did post the same thing twice. Oh crap.

I used to look at my mom's figure and think, well, that's HER figure, and I have mine which I'm sure takes after someone else's.

Well it doesn't. I'm starting get her figure. Oh God.

At 2:04 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

her figure's not bad wat. actually, she's still rather attractive. I'm not kidding. I know, I know, about the you-are/will be-wat-your-mom is tag. ya. scaree-mareeeeee. but I think our moms are ok. some people still think mine is like very young. dunno why they can't think that of me tho'. bloody hole in the ozone must've done it for me. must get one of those god-ugly sunglasses you got, jaffar, for me. least the freckles won't show up so much then.

At 2:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i just googled the picture on your firm's website.

nice. :-)

At 9:09 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Somebody borrowed my sunglasses - am furious and can't remember who. They're irreplaceable. Where else can I find a pair of sunglasses that will cover half my face?

I recall lending them to someone who I thought needed them badly. Am now trying to recall which of my friends has sensitive eyes. I'm going to poke them out.

At 9:10 AM, Anonymous dilettanteP said...

Big sunnies are quite chic these days. I'm sure you will find another one that does its job and suit your style!!!:)

I never leave home without one...;)

At 1:21 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

I dunno...till today, when huge sunnies are in again, I still recall that hers looked anything but chic....they were really funny looking actually...from memory. ya, like they really covered three-quarts of her face. like when she put them on we were like "jaffar! JAFFAR! where the f*** are you? that you...?!"

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screwy skeptic:

she IS still hot, just check out her flickr photos!

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