Monday, January 19, 2009

Help

So Chinese New Year is coming around again, and I wish my problems were a little bit more mundane, like worrying about relatives who ask me when am I going to have my third child (can't! am still working on the 2nd one!) or how much to put into the ang pows this year (actually, everyone is only getting S$2 regardless of age, sex and how inclined I might be feeling about them).

The problem is I don't actually know my relatives' names. I have a stack of relatives on my mother's side who are all Ah This and Ah That, but that's not really the name on their NRIC or birth certificate. In fact, some of them are working in the Central Business District too, and I could well have dealings with them at work, but how the hell would I know, since "Ah Ter" and "Ah Kow" do not appear as part of their email addresses. Some of them have more elaborate names, like Youngest Uncle, Number Three Aunt and Seventh Sibling of My Grandfather. These titles are even less helpful to me in deciphering their real names.

Of course asking them for their names, namecards or passports could be an option at this point, but I believe some of them may already suspect that I don't know their names, ever since one of them got married, invited me to his wedding, and I walked right past him at the reception after just saying "hi!". Actually I had him confused with another relative when I received the wedding invitation, one whom I believed at that point in time was already married with children.

His sister's wedding is coming up in 2 days' time. At least, I think it is his sister who is getting married. As always, I will greet everyone with "hi!" and hope for the best.

I know at least 1 person who might read this post will suggest that I kill them all and read their names off the obituaries. THAT'S NOT HELPFUL.

15 Comments:

At 11:51 PM, Blogger k@Ye_ said...

Hehe, think the same for me! Good luck during Chinese New Year!

 
At 11:25 AM, Anonymous Inex said...

Bribe someone in your family who knew to send you a complete family tree?

 
At 1:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aside from killingthem to find out their names, you can have them arrested when they all congregate at someone's house on suspicion of an illegal activity (which will be disproved later) but in the mean time the coppers will take down details of people's names etc... and there you will be standing next to the cops taking down your own notes.

 
At 2:30 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

I like Anon's idea to call the fuzz, except that they WILL find traces of illegal activity on the premises (dog not licensed, TV not licensed, most of son's DVDs also have, uh, issues)

Bribery was the favorite choice until I overheard one of my auntie's asking her cousin's daughter for her name, at her cousin's son's wedding.

There's no way out. As The Son says, I am trapped in a wep of trick and pants.

 
At 1:18 PM, Blogger San said...

Hiya! ;)

I have the same problem. And I am so bad at chinese names. I will look at my cousin, whom I've spent a good part of my childhood with ... And still not remember his/her Chinese names! Haha! So you can imagine how it is like with the "older" folks...

Well, the "Hi" method works... Else you can always pretend to be on your phone and therefore legitimately "busy" and not able to hold a decent conversation. Just wing it! ;)

 
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