Friday, December 19, 2008

A ray of little snowy hope

There is a pregnancy-related phenomenon that nobody talks about - in fact, there are lots of things about pregnancy that no one talks about but I digress - and that is nobody will touch you. I have a generally problematic relationship with my back which tends to flare up the moment the pregnancy test turns positive and that is my back will just start killing me, from start to finish of the pregnancy. No joke. Just pain, agony, stiffness, you name it. I need. a. back. massage.

And then here's the rest of the joke. Nobody will massage a pregnant woman unless they have had special training. And by special training, I mean special training in jacking up the price to twice the price of a normal massage, just to rub oil gingerly on my back as I lie on my side like a beached whale. If they were to try that on any non-pregnant, non-idiot customer, the person would just get up and walk out. I want a real massage, they would say. If I wanted you to just rub oil on my back with the tips of your fingers, I would have asked.

So it was with great reluctance that I called Qi Mantra last week, with my back in waves of agony, to cancel my next appointment with Little Snow, the woman with the magic thumb. Why, said Coco the rather nice receptionist. I'm pregnant, said I, waiting for her to say Ok then, good luck and good bye. To my surprise and joy, she said, well that's fine. Little Snow can give you a massage. She knows how to do it.

Oh joy! Oh tears of happiness! Oh happy day!

I no longer have to rely on The Husband, the king of the 20-second massage (followed by a long, heavy sigh indicating that he feels hard put upon and badly done by). I can now look forward to being bruised by a professional!!!!!!!

Leaving now.

19 Comments:

At 9:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I genuinely feel happy for you, as I know exactly how you feel!!!

 
At 8:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are supposed to get a massage from the 4th month to 7th month only... Enjoy your massage! :)

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger expat@large said...

I'm thinking of writing a book on how to scare the living daylights of pregnant women by tabulating all the "do not" admonitions - but it would have to be a huge long book, EVERYTHING is bad for you and the baby...

 
At 12:04 AM, Blogger gremlin said...

which is why I give up. I eat, drink and do whatever makes me happy. f*** the rules!

 
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