Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Bear with me

So some quick mental calculation using my trusty calculator indicates that I have been a lawyer longer than I've been anything else... no, wait, that's incorrect, I think maybe I was a student for slightly longer, or maybe the same amount of time, depending on the result of 6+4+2+4. Anyway, whatever.

My point is, I haven't actually done much else since I graduated from school. I was a librarian for a month, a rather lazy but over-made-up and over-perfumed temp receptionist at Parfums Yves Saint Laurent for 1.5 months, a rather indifferent seller of bicycles and wedding packages for another month and then finally an administration clerk at a MNC for 2 months until I fell asleep at my desk and the boss walked by. Also, a math teacher at CJC for a month (will everyone please stop laughing, I can hear you). But nothing else particularly interesting.

Until last weekend, when I got the once in a lifetime opportunity to dress up in a bear costume (a proper bear costume!!) and walk around a mall. My initial position was bear-walker - the person that walks around with the bear to guide them around the mall and to make sure that when the little kids push the bear over with their rough play, that the bear is able to stand up again. Also, to smile and give out balloons.

Because I am such a sociable person and I do enjoy smiling at large groups of complete strangers, I went through the solicitors' ethics guidelines to see if there was anything there at all which could possibly make it illegal for me to be a bear-walker. And there it was - a solicitor is not permitted to do anything that would bring shame or embarrassment to the legal profession. Therefore, as I would be giving out balloons in public, a client may walk by and recognise me, thereby bringing shame to the legal profession, in some way or the other. I'm sure that there would be some shame. Certainly if I told my mother what I was going to do this weekend, she would feel ashamed to be my mother. So there's the shame for you.

Anyway, to get to the point, there was an extremely short bear traversing the length and breadth of a certain shopping mall last weekend and waving to all and sundry. At some point, the bear decided to spice up the action and started breakdancing interspersed with vague wu-shu hand movements to entertain the crowds of small children which were pulling the bear's tail and bopping the bear with their balloons. The bear's husband in the meantime handed out balloons and filled up the charm-gaps in the bear's routine.

I was quite surprised to discover that I had a really great time in the bear suit. I mean, I was quite the celebrity about town. Everywhere I walked, people would smile, wave, children would scream and (sometimes) not cry. People wanted to take photographs with me, and I didn't even have to smile!!! Some adults even wanted to shake hands with the bear, and to peer into the bear head to see who was inside. I was finally persuaded to take the bear suit off, and I've not been quite so popular since.


At 12:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When we were younger, MUCH, MUCH younger, the sisters and I used to run up to these humans in animal suits to smack their bottoms/crotches or whatever it was our hands could reach/grope/fondle at that age - hence, the bottoms/crotches.

Mum decided to put a stop to it when we were old enough to sort of understand why we shouldn't do that - "Because there is a MAN (with extra emphasis) inside that suit."

~ xena

At 10:17 AM, Blogger Fore! said...

I see you've finally accepted that you're more popular with people when your face and entire body is covered up by a costume.

At 4:49 PM, Blogger Challenger said...

Since young I always wonder whether the persons in the animal suits are men or women!

Anyway they do a good job by bringing pleasure to others!

At 10:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was the bear suit smelly? just curious.

- lynn

At 10:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i miss your witty posts..update!!

At 12:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes smootie - missing your wit! Don't desert us now! markwe

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