Generation Y

I read with interest and some incredulity the ST writeup on this new Generation Y business which is now under the spotlight.

Is it just me or are they basically writing we have an entire generation of people with some serious ADD? I mean, to mention, even recommend, that their erstwhile employers are having to constantly entertain them, deal with smartass comments, keep their minds stimulated, then give them all the electronic toys that their little hearts desire ... this is all completely familiar to me given that I go home everyday to face the very same thing except that by "the very same thing" I mean my 3-year old son.

What is with the free bus fares, free meals, and on-site pinball machine that some gaming company was providing to its Gen Y employees? Seriously if I had some kid in a jumper push a scooter pass my office in the rush to eat the free food and play pinball over a 3-hour lunch, I'll put a cap in his head faster than you can say "whee!"

Surely this cannot be true. I'm almost completely certain that Gen Y has been misclassified. They're not a bunch of yahoos who think they're God. That would make them completely unemployable and any fool who thinks otherwise better have spare cash for a S$50,000 per month food and entertainment budget. And what happens when Gen Y gets horny? Do you have to pay for their hookers too? Or create a sex chat room for them? I hope it's the latter. It's cheaper.

On a related note, we have had 2 18-year olds roosting in our office for the past month. They are going to law school and they want to find out more about what work is like in a law office. One of them is apparantly a top scholar. I worked with her for 48 hours, after which they had to take her off my hands or else I would've killed her.

The Straits Times should have mentioned that Gen Y does not handle printing or filing. I would regard this information as absolutely crucial. For the 48 hours that we worked together, she was given the deceptively simple task of printing my emails and then filing them. After 3 hours, I was forced to streamline the task further - just print the emails I pick out for you, and then file them.

End of the first day. She's at her seat, sending text messages on her phone. Her computer screen is nothing but a sea of coloured instant messages. There is a pile of paper next to her which is broadly one-third of the height it should've reached. The files are nowhere to be seen.

Are you done? I asked.

Oh yes, I am. She said, still busy text messaging (Gen Y can multi-task!!)

Ok. Mind if I take a quick look? I need to refer to some of the documents attached with the emails.

Oh actually I just printed the emails. I didn't print the attachments. They're very long. She said, power-thumbs still going strong with the text messages.

Why did you do that? Didn't you notice that some of the emails just said "Please see attached"? If this is the case, then clearly the attachment is more important than the email, right?

Well the attachments are very long. They run into ... well.... lots of pages. I can show you. I don't think you want me to print them.

I THINK I WOULD LIKE YOU TO PRINT THEM. I KNOW EXACTLY HOW LONG THEY ARE BECAUSE THESE ARE DOCUMENTS THAT I DRAFTED MYSELF. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PRINT THEM. I ACTUALLY HAVE TO DRAFT THEM AND READ THEM. SO CAN YOU PLEASE PRINT THEM.

She looked at me like the chair just got up and bit her or something. Then she started printing some documents. I went back to my desk to calm down, as my Gen X heart cannot take all of this stress. A while later, I looked up and she had gone home. The freshly printed documents were still sitting in the printer, unstapled, unsorted. Perhaps waiting for the office ghost to pick them up, staple them and file them. Poor office ghost.

I realised then that I had made my unreasonable request at 5 minutes to closing time. Therefore, whilst the "very long" document was still printing, the clock struck 6 and Gen Y went out the front door (remember - they cannot sacrifice their personal life for work). Obviously she was smart enough to realise that if I had needed the document so badly, then I would hunt it down to the right printer and pick it up myself. I would not need a middleman to staple it or pass it to me. Gen Y is very intelligent!