Sir, Are You Taking That Turkey To Texas?

My maid is absolutely hysterical. I didn't know what she was referring to, until I remembered that we have had a butterball turkey in our freezer since "Thanksgiving". The quotation marks have been included since this is not a recognised public holiday in Singapore, and therefore it is usually neglected in our household except for the small forlorn American voice that mentions it on some random evening. "Hey. It's Thanksgiving."

So "Thanksgiving" came and went, but the butterball stayed in our fridge. Now that we are planning a holiday, the fate of the butterball remains unclear. Do we attempt to cook and eat it before we leave? Do we pack it in our luggage and cook it in Texas? Do we hand it over to a customs officer at the Minneapolis airport so that he and his fambly can enjoy irradiated turkey for dinner? So many questions, so little time.

In other news, The Son has broken out in red spots. He looks really awful. You can't tell just looking at him if it's measles, chicken pox, viral pox or an alien. We brought him to the paed this morning and had to declare that he was infectious, which led directly to us sitting in a small room with the door closed whilst The Son cried and cried because he wanted to be in the waiting room with all the kids and toys. "OUTSIDE!!! OUTSIDE!!!!!" A toddler in need is very very trying.

Anyway. Found out that it's some kind of viral rash. I think that's putting it mildly. He's all red. It's like a walking rash with hair on top. And he cries A LOT which makes him even redder and very disagreeable. We finally passed the paed a photograph of him for her wall - it barely looked like the same kid.

Disease, viruses, toddlers, milo stains on my work clothes, diaper rash, vomit and noisy diarrhoea. That's the sum of my last 4 days. Also, requests for "BLUE NUK" at 5 am in the morning (the pacifier in his mouth was clear-coloured, and he didn't like it, and he wanted the blue pacifier). There was a lot of searching in the dark, and mama was crawling under the bed whilst dada searched the sheets when The Little Dictator shouted "HERE!", popped the blue nuk into his mouth and went back to sleep. HE HAD BEEN HOLDING IT IN HIS HAND ALL ALONG. It took me an hour to get back to sleep.

I give up. I'm drinking all the Promethazine before we get on the plane.