Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Sir, Are You Taking That Turkey To Texas?

My maid is absolutely hysterical. I didn't know what she was referring to, until I remembered that we have had a butterball turkey in our freezer since "Thanksgiving". The quotation marks have been included since this is not a recognised public holiday in Singapore, and therefore it is usually neglected in our household except for the small forlorn American voice that mentions it on some random evening. "Hey. It's Thanksgiving."

So "Thanksgiving" came and went, but the butterball stayed in our fridge. Now that we are planning a holiday, the fate of the butterball remains unclear. Do we attempt to cook and eat it before we leave? Do we pack it in our luggage and cook it in Texas? Do we hand it over to a customs officer at the Minneapolis airport so that he and his fambly can enjoy irradiated turkey for dinner? So many questions, so little time.

In other news, The Son has broken out in red spots. He looks really awful. You can't tell just looking at him if it's measles, chicken pox, viral pox or an alien. We brought him to the paed this morning and had to declare that he was infectious, which led directly to us sitting in a small room with the door closed whilst The Son cried and cried because he wanted to be in the waiting room with all the kids and toys. "OUTSIDE!!! OUTSIDE!!!!!" A toddler in need is very very trying.

Anyway. Found out that it's some kind of viral rash. I think that's putting it mildly. He's all red. It's like a walking rash with hair on top. And he cries A LOT which makes him even redder and very disagreeable. We finally passed the paed a photograph of him for her wall - it barely looked like the same kid.

Disease, viruses, toddlers, milo stains on my work clothes, diaper rash, vomit and noisy diarrhoea. That's the sum of my last 4 days. Also, requests for "BLUE NUK" at 5 am in the morning (the pacifier in his mouth was clear-coloured, and he didn't like it, and he wanted the blue pacifier). There was a lot of searching in the dark, and mama was crawling under the bed whilst dada searched the sheets when The Little Dictator shouted "HERE!", popped the blue nuk into his mouth and went back to sleep. HE HAD BEEN HOLDING IT IN HIS HAND ALL ALONG. It took me an hour to get back to sleep.

I give up. I'm drinking all the Promethazine before we get on the plane.

20 Comments:

At 3:15 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

blue nuk is so cute. so toddler. toddlers are so my fave thing.

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Yeah. Hur hur. It's funny like, hours later, but when he asked for it, my mind was chock full of vulgarities. I mean, as it stands, we already have 2 nuks on his pillow, 1 nuk on my side table and sometimes another one in the bathroom, all just in case. For him to start colour-coding his midnight pacifier requests is JUST. TOO. MUCH.

 
At 9:39 AM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Just kill me. Out of the darkness this morning at about 5 am came a request for "WHITE NUK". I'm starting to think they really taste different.

 
At 12:35 PM, Anonymous moniebaloney said...

Good lord,please tell me that you're NOT seriously thinking about smuggling a frozen turkey into Texas.

I must admit though I do like consuming the beast, but only during Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I actually made one this year with all the fixings and cranberry sauce from scratch!It was bloody good if I do say so myself, even Ramona got to her own plate of turkey goodness.

Mmmmm....turkey...

 
At 12:37 PM, Anonymous moniebaloney said...

P.S. Yokum was really proud of my free breakfasts.

 
At 6:21 PM, Anonymous kwonghou said...

sigh, during my days, if i had such requests, my mom would just tell me to behave myself.

 
At 1:17 AM, Blogger knobby said...

Maybe you should taste each of them. Just to check. I remember I would stand for nothing but my left thumb (never the right) and I still think it used to have its own taste.

Re the turkey -- just throw a party! You provide the turkey, everyone else brings salad, sweet potatoes, a pie.. whatever.

BTW, I've always wanted to know: why do all Singaporeans say "5 am in the morning"? Why not just stop at "5 am"? It used to drive me nuts. I'm over it now but I still haven't figured out this obsession with repeating and reiterating things redundantly more than once.

 
At 9:02 PM, Blogger knobby said...

Oops. Pissed you off, didn't I? Didn't mean to, just curious. Honest!

 
At 1:59 AM, Blogger gremlin said...

knobbly, with kids, you have no choice but to be super crystal CLEAR. get my point? if you just say "no.", the message will not get thru, try it. what will work is usually an "ABSOLUTELY NOT, NO, NO, NO, don't even ask again, NEVER." hairyD, white nuk is sooooo adorable! think he's just practicing his colours, clever boy!

 
At 4:16 PM, Blogger knobby said...

Gremlin: I wasn't talking about R! I was talking about this sentence which doesn't have anything to do with toddlers: Also, requests for "BLUE NUK" at 5 am in the morning...

Anyway, I think Smoot & fambly are travelling so my hope is that she's cooled down by now and won't sue my knickers off.

 
At 7:47 AM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

!

Sorry - the long silence was due to travels. Am currently away from home. Travelling away from home, is what I mean to say.

Am not upset THAT easily. Otherwise would've gone on a murderous rampage long ago. Murderously killing people and human beings, is what I mean to say.

 
At 2:06 PM, Blogger knobby said...

Lol. So you mean you're taking time off from work to holiday on vacation to get a break? (I know I'm pushing my luck.. haha)

 
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