Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Oceans of Regret

Yeah. This post is going to be a reminder for me about the folly of agreeing to speak at a seminar that is going to be held in 5 months time.

Because after 5 months have passed, I ACTUALLY HAVE TO GIVE THE SEMINAR.

The whole concept sounded great, 5 months ago. Fly to London, give a seminar on some topic that I actually know something about. What could be easier? More glamorous? And the organiser is paying for my airfare and hotel expenses! I'm like, important or something! Hey! Don't American ex-presidents do this kind of thing too?

After coming back down to earth, I realise that: (i) I am speaking for 2 days straight; (ii) I hafta study fer this; (iii) I'm flying to London in coach class; and (iv) I have never heard of the hotel where I will be staying. Presumably it's got a roof. I hope it's got a wardrobe in every room. I hope the lights in the toilet are not coin-operated, and that if I'm not done in 5 minutes, it won't go off and leave me sitting in complete darkness, holding a coin pouch, with my head in my hands.

In my wildest nightmares, I never imagined that I would sign up for a seminar where I'd be speaking for 2 days straight. Is it even possible for a human being to do this without sustaining irreversible damage to the vocal cords. That's 9 hours of talk-time. Most handphones would just explode or something. And the million dollar question is, HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO COME UP WITH 9 HOURS OF MEANINGFUL SPEAKING MATERIAL.

I am so screwed. If you're reading this, then I'm dreaming and you're in my nightmare.

16 Comments:

At 5:20 PM, Blogger Slum (slave of a mum) said...

Gosh ... what did you get yourself into?! My prayers are with you.

About your last entry - I'm not sure now that we attended the same law school. I'm still taking the public transport, live in an almost 1200sqf aptmt which really belongs to the bank, and can sometimes afford short holidays in Asia. And I thought I had everything!

 
At 5:24 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Hey, I'm not talking about being able to do a grand tour of Europe or anything. And the urge to save money by using public transport is universal! *weeps inconsolably*

 
At 9:41 PM, Blogger lecoqsportif said...

hey! when will you be in London? come visit me! i'm just a Eurostar away ...

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

ARGH! I can't. My schedule is really tight.

27 Nov: Crawl off the plane, get strip searched and possibly imprisoned for yelling at customs officers, try to sleep.

28, 29 Nov: 2 meetings a day.

30 Nov, 1 Dec: Speak for 9 hours, unless I'm still in prison for yelling at customs officers (hey! there's an idea!)

2 Dec: Get back on plane.

Any chance that you're going to be in London? Would be great to see a friendly face.

 
At 1:30 AM, Anonymous kwonghou said...

I've just completed a training where the trainer spoke for 10 days (sandwiching a 2-day weekend), 9 hours each day. And this is the 3rd time he's done it for our bank. Don't know how he does it, I got drained just for sitting through.

Guess it's easier if it's a topic you're familiar. Make sure to plan in a couple of breaks. Even better if you can make it interactive, time easier to pass that way.

 
At 12:54 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Thanks for the tips. Am still having trouble sleeping from all the fear and worry.

 
At 3:07 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

make them break up in groups and then do a presentation of what they'd discussed - should kill a good couple of hours if you allow them to take their time ;p

anyways, have decided. you just secretly love to do them seminars. tsk tsk.

 
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