Oceans of Regret

Yeah. This post is going to be a reminder for me about the folly of agreeing to speak at a seminar that is going to be held in 5 months time.

Because after 5 months have passed, I ACTUALLY HAVE TO GIVE THE SEMINAR.

The whole concept sounded great, 5 months ago. Fly to London, give a seminar on some topic that I actually know something about. What could be easier? More glamorous? And the organiser is paying for my airfare and hotel expenses! I'm like, important or something! Hey! Don't American ex-presidents do this kind of thing too?

After coming back down to earth, I realise that: (i) I am speaking for 2 days straight; (ii) I hafta study fer this; (iii) I'm flying to London in coach class; and (iv) I have never heard of the hotel where I will be staying. Presumably it's got a roof. I hope it's got a wardrobe in every room. I hope the lights in the toilet are not coin-operated, and that if I'm not done in 5 minutes, it won't go off and leave me sitting in complete darkness, holding a coin pouch, with my head in my hands.

In my wildest nightmares, I never imagined that I would sign up for a seminar where I'd be speaking for 2 days straight. Is it even possible for a human being to do this without sustaining irreversible damage to the vocal cords. That's 9 hours of talk-time. Most handphones would just explode or something. And the million dollar question is, HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO COME UP WITH 9 HOURS OF MEANINGFUL SPEAKING MATERIAL.

I am so screwed. If you're reading this, then I'm dreaming and you're in my nightmare.