Tuesday, July 25, 2006

That Rule of 10

About a million blog entries, a lifetime of backaches and 1 epidural ago, I used to be a single yellow female, playing the dating game. And when I was not dating anyone exclusively, I played the Rule of 10.

I'm no scientist, but I sincerely believe it takes approximately 10 men to please 1 red blooded Asian girl. I'm not talking about you-know-what --- I'm talking about SOCIAL intercourse. Without 9 other reserves, it would be impossible to look at a single man, in isolation, and really appreciate his qualities. Sometimes the really good ones are all shy and diffident (translate - borrrrring) until about the 10th date. Who on God's green earth is going to wait so long? Only someone with a fallback position. Or 9 fallback positions. With that number of reserves, the single quiet, not so cute guy becomes interesting because he could be a different creature from the others you currently have in your collection. Maybe you're building up your collection and you need another 3 or 4. This one could help you tally up the numbers. In the least, you'll give him a couple more dates before you write him off as a bad investment.

With 10 men, you can have:

- up to 3 bastards
- 2 good looking ones (no personality nair mind)
- 1 or 2 not so good looking, but with great personalities (who inevitably end up being the front-runners)
- 1 who is rich (drive sports car/ rich fambly)
- 1 who is cool (ride motorbike/ models CK underwear)
- 1 is experimental (like, someone you wouldn't ordinarily date but you just want to try. Someone with tattoos/ a criminal record - am not talking about a traffic offence here/ much much older/ younger/ related to you (gasp!)).

I haven't elaborated on bastards. You know why? Because they're indefinable, and they're all different. In my collection of bastards, I've had:

1. Chester the Molester (attempts date rape - in my case not successful - but completely charming the whole time he's trying to get you comatose with the drink)

2. Camel Eyes (smokin' gorgeous, completely disinterested in a commitment but keeps calling)

3. Rawk DJ (married Eurasian deejay with a gorgeous wife and a little girl. Will chase anything that moves).

4. Secret Squirrel (rich, drives black beemer, takes me out to empty restaurants and romantic (remote) places, completely charming and completely lying about his marital status. I did not know he was married until a year after we stopped seeing each other).

All that's firmly behind me now. I miss the excitement but I don't miss the excitement, you know what I mean?

21 Comments:

At 11:56 AM, Blogger Little Miss Drinkalot said...

Now I have to go find myself 10 men?!!?!? 1 is hard enough!!!

*weeps*

 
At 12:12 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

there were only all of 2 bastards in the whole of your dating life, dear. one may even be excused for schizophrenia, and the other, I mean...the other is not even worth my describing. oh, ya, ha, the other had (still has) a schizo for a wife? har har. this world is so fair.

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger expat@large said...

with such a "firm behind" I am sure even more bastards will be on the prowl...

oh, "firmLY behind"... Sorry, I misread that.

 
At 2:24 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Oh Gremlin.

Gremlin Gremlin Gremlin

*shakes head slowly*

E@L: I mention my son and there is an odd vanishing effect...?

LMD: Just start lah. Hand on a minute. What am I saying. If you go by the number of rather leery comments you get on your blog, you already have quite an interesting collection.

 
At 4:14 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

oh ya, you've mellowed. I'm more used to a shrieked out "GREMLIN!!!" n an attempt to throttle, than this. ya, am firmLY behind and ready to crap-up those creeps at the wimpiest "go". wimpIEST. I still wait. oh...so....patiently......

 
At 9:14 PM, Blogger Michael McClung said...

but of course now there are only two men in your life...

 
At 10:43 AM, Blogger DilettanteP said...

Like this entry :)

Reminds me of my favourite quote and perhaps it would be the motto of the last (black beemer driving) bastard that you mentioned:

"Perhaps the human soul needs excursions, and must not be denied them. But the point of an excursion is that you come home again."
- "Lady Chatterley's Lover", D.H. Lawrence

 
At 12:00 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Thanks! And that's just what black beemer did after every date/ excursion. He went home.

 
At 5:37 PM, Blogger knobby said...

"1 who is cool (ride motorbike/ models CK underwear)"

I read that as "rides motorbikes and models" until I came to the bit about CKs. Too funny. Eats, shoots and leaves.

I wonder what kind of guy I am. Not for me to classify myself.

(I don't want to tell you who I am.)

 
At 1:37 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

HairyD, you sucker. AVOID.

 
At 1:48 PM, Blogger The Screwy Skeptic said...

i still have yet to get my rich bitch, damnit.

 
At 2:30 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Try starting every "get to know you" conversation with "So, whose son/ daughter are you?"

You're bound to uncover something young with rich parents ... eventually. Though I can't vouch for the personality of someone who would respond favourably to a question like that.

 
At 3:12 AM, Blogger The Screwy Skeptic said...

Haha, yeeeah, I won't be testing that question any time soon. I did once go on a date with one of the heirs of the Samsung empire though, and he was definitely a rich bitch, "bitch" being the operative word.

I like how you've been posting so regularly these days, btw. Very entertainign stuff.

 
At 4:11 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

heng yen ling. 34 and still looking............................................................................................as far as I'm concerned.

 
At 5:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahaha, the good old days :>

 
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