Monday, July 24, 2006

I's in Agony

This blog is becoming a real wailing wall for me.

In a misguided effort to be a "happening mom", I ventured out last Saturday morning, ALONE and ON FOOT, with The Son. The whole idea was to spend half a day with him and somehow manage to combine weekend destressing with getting to know my son a little better. It's just one kid. How difficult can this be?

I sit here now, with half my back throbbing in agony, almost unable to get out of bed without third party assistance, and I ask myself, what on earth was I thinking. Once out of the house, where he runs around like a crazy chicken, the Son refused to walk on his own and had to be carried ... let's see... over an overhead bridge to a bus stop, onto the bus, in the bus, off the bus, onto the train, in the train (no seats, bloody hell), off the train, to Centrepoint, throughout breakfast, to the pedicurist, throughout the pedicure, to the toilet, throughout the toilet visit (I should get a medal for this) and finally to the toyshop where he deigned to stand and walk around on the condition that I buy for him the S$24.90 jar of coloured blocks that he picked off a shelf (turns out he didn't want the blocks, just the jar, so I paid S$24.90 for a cheap plastic jar).

Somehow along the way, I managed to do something incredibly horrible to my back and now it's a challenge just to get up from my chair to collect my printing. Lying on my left side in bed is just not an option anymore. Why? I dunno. It's sheer muscle-related agony. It even hurts when I yawn. Frankly, I think it was the toilet visit that did it. How is it possible to carry a baby whilst ... attending to urgent matters in a public toilet cubicle without sitting down. A squirming toddler who screams when his feet touch the floor. Eventually, I had to put him down for about a minute whilst ... I tidied up. The screaming and crying and whining bounced off the toilet walls and I couldn't think straight - it's a miracle I managed to ... tidy up and not come out looking like I'm incontinent. Then I opened the door and a little girl was standing just on the other side with this look of absolute horror on her face. Yes! I was cutting him up in there! You caught me!

Heading out (gingerly) for a massage, although it's possible that nothing short of a back transplant will help.

20 Comments:

At 1:06 PM, Anonymous kierra said...

now your son isn't cute anymore. how come you didn't go out with a pram?

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

The pram has lost its appeal. I'd have to push/ carry it whilst carrying The Son.

Back from massage. Did not help.

 
At 3:39 PM, Blogger expat@large said...

Put him on the floor. Leave him on the floor.

Put suitcase wheels into his trouser bottoms and drag him along behind.

I can't believe I am suggesting this, but what about a pair of noisy shoes to make walking more fun? For you not him.

Anyway, in several/ten years the screaming will stop. As will yours.

For the back - five years ago I would have recommended Vioxx, but today bed rest, a cold pack and lots of terrific anti-inflammatories. No dried snow-lepoards penis soup or any other crap, unless you were having it anyway instead of beer chicken. And not a warm pack initially as that just encourages increased swelling in the acute phase and it is the swelling that is causing the damage and pain. A few days later the warm pack to encourage blood flow to take away the swelling.

Dr Phil.

Disclaimer: Of course I could be wrong about all of the above.

 
At 10:08 AM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Thanks for the advice Dr Phil-san!

 
At 12:17 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

I also say, why dint you leave him on the floor? It's absolutely no fun going to the loo and not being able to pull at the toilet paper till there's none left for mommy to use, flush a couple of times till mommy's bum's all soaking, and peeping on all fours at the old lady in the next cubicle! Wake up to this wonderful whimsical world, mommy! leave him be.

 
At 3:32 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

I've got a name for it. It's Little Old Lady Back.

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

lao niah beh. my hokkien so stinks. but then again, hokkien's meant to sound this vulgar wat.

 
At 6:07 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Thanks. That sounded like you said "Little Old Lady's Balls". Thanks again.

 
At 1:41 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

pleasure's all mine lao niah beh ;p all mine.

 
At 11:56 PM, Blogger valkyrie said...

deep heat rub-things work. :)

 
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