Tuesday, June 05, 2007

I can smell again!

It's been pretty depressing these last 2 weeks given that I've been down with the Flu Grand Mal and have not been able to smell or even breathe deeply without coughing and hacking my lungs out. This flu is a pretty bad one - the symptoms last about 2 weeks, and it seems to be very contagious, judging by the number of passers-by who are also coughing and sneezing. Does not help that we have been busy and I have managed to not miss more than half a day's work over 2 days in the last 2 weeks. So have pulled the "very sick but still manage to go to work and work" stunt, yet again, for the umpteenth time since I started working. Ho hum.

Yesterday I woke up and the world was all smelly again - I felt so invigorated, like I've just spent the last 2 weeks in a fog and it's cleared and everything is bright and sparkly and there is colour in the world once more. Went for a meeting at Raffles Place and was astounded by all the changes that had taken place in the last 2 months. Wow! This is where the Big Boys are! People here are so glamorous! Then I saw an auntie walking down the street, chatting with her friend while scratching at her groin (some would say, chee bye), and realised that not much had changed, just that I had been ill and now I'm not ill anymore.

Women who have become aunties are really audacious. As someone once told me, if you sit in a car parked kerbside, and you look out at the people passing by, you will realise some of them have really sharp radar and some of them don't. Like the PYTs (pretty young things) have really sharp radar. You look at them through a car window and in 5 seconds flat, they will catch you looking. At this point, most people would usually look away politely, but some of my guy friends tell me they will just keep on staring. Creepily. But anyway. If you stare at the aunties, they will never catch you. Because their radar is either not working anymore or it's been switched off to save battery. They don't think they are attractive anymore, so they don't look out to see if anyone is looking at them. Radar is off. I wanted to tell the auntie yesterday, eh, it doesn't mean you are invisible, ok. Just because you are an auntie and you think no one looks at you anymore doesn't mean you can walk down the street in the middle of Raffles Place scratching your chee bye like that. For God's sake. I was about to go and grab a bite, and now I'm just trying not to vomit in my mouth.

I once met someone else like that, but she was the examiner for my A Level Chinese oral exam so I kept my thoughts to myself. Little did I know she was actually quite a famous personality and was in fact the renowned "CB Scratcher" who taught Chinese in a boy's school.

Anyway. So yeah. Things are back to normal.

16 Comments:

At 5:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL!!!Great post!Glad that you have reovered

 
At 9:33 PM, Blogger knobby said...

Maybe it was deliberate. Are you sure she wasn't making a pass at you?

 
At 12:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smootie you are hilarious! Way waaay funnier than MercerMachine. (oops).

And glad to see you have recovered. And blogging again. =)

- Your Ardent Fan

 
At 12:28 AM, Blogger Little Miss Drinkalot said...

I'm sure she could contribute to your search of crab.

 
At 2:15 AM, Blogger the VirginPornStar said...

I know of a guy who is prone to doing the "auntie", and like an auntie is completely unaware that people have observed him scratching his man parts in public on numerous occasions.

Such a shame. As one girl mournfully sighed to me over coffee, he's got looks, fantabulous body, sexy European accent, great job, great personality. But...he scratches his boys in public. Much too often for comfort.

 
At 1:17 PM, Blogger MercerMachine said...

anonymous-

you're right, she's funnier than me. but that second 'waaay' was just tacky.

 
At 1:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah... Guys doing the "auntie" ranks a close 2nd after combovers. Thanks for telling the whole world that your underwear is cutting into your balls!

 
At 1:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Her cheebye not as smelly as your other "hairy donut" lah. See ppl scratching cheebye, you want to vomit? Buay kan...

 
At 1:09 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Hello Ben. Please give me a reason to take action against you.

 
At 3:23 PM, Blogger MercerMachine said...

-ben, you obviously are not the brightest bulb in the pack, to harrass a lawyer. I feel sorry for you.

 
At 1:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ben's lonely. poor -ben.

 
At 11:58 AM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Knobby: Is that how women make passes at you?

LMD: hur not funny hur

Anon: Thank you! I hope I did not pass the cold and cough to you!

VPS: I wept when I read your story. Another good man, cut down in his prime... (still tearing)

Anon: Somehow I find it more acceptable when guys do it. Maybe it's because they do it more often, and so many of them smile when they're at it!

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, tory burch outlet, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, longchamp outlet, burberry, louboutin shoes, ray ban sunglasses, prada handbags, louis vuitton outlet, gucci outlet, louis vuitton, chanel handbags, longchamp, michael kors outlet, louboutin outlet, nike free, ugg boots, polo ralph lauren outlet, oakley sunglasses, nike air max, replica watches, christian louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, longchamp outlet, tiffany jewelry, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, kate spade outlet, prada outlet, nike outlet, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet, uggs on sale, louboutin, tiffany and co, louis vuitton, burberry outlet online, nike air max, jordan shoes, ugg boots, cheap oakley sunglasses

 
At 9:55 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

ray ban pas cher, kate spade handbags, nike roshe, vans pas cher, lacoste pas cher, nike roshe run, abercrombie and fitch, true religion jeans, timberland, nike air max, coach factory outlet, true religion outlet, burberry, michael kors, coach purses, vanessa bruno, michael kors, converse pas cher, hollister pas cher, nike blazer, michael kors, oakley pas cher, tn pas cher, ray ban uk, mulberry, louboutin pas cher, hogan, ralph lauren uk, michael kors, coach outlet, sac guess, new balance pas cher, air force, nike free, lululemon, ralph lauren pas cher, coach outlet, north face, hermes, nike air max, true religion jeans, nike air max, sac longchamp, hollister, true religion jeans, north face, longchamp pas cher, air max, air jordan pas cher, nike free run uk

 
At 9:59 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louboutin, birkin bag, hollister, longchamp, ghd, insanity workout, nike roshe, beats by dre, hollister, oakley, nike air max, jimmy choo shoes, celine handbags, hollister, asics running shoes, gucci, giuseppe zanotti, vans, wedding dresses, timberland boots, mont blanc, north face outlet, valentino shoes, bottega veneta, soccer jerseys, mcm handbags, chi flat iron, lululemon, ray ban, abercrombie and fitch, new balance, ralph lauren, mac cosmetics, north face outlet, iphone 6 cases, nike air max, instyler, babyliss, herve leger, baseball bats, nfl jerseys, ferragamo shoes, nike trainers, reebok shoes, nike huarache, converse outlet, p90x workout, converse, vans shoes, soccer shoes

 
At 10:01 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

toms shoes, moncler, pandora charms, pandora jewelry, michael kors handbags, barbour, replica watches, moncler, doudoune canada goose, pandora charms, wedding dresses, doke gabbana outlet, canada goose, louis vuitton, bottes ugg, barbour jackets, louis vuitton, karen millen, michael kors outlet, marc jacobs, pandora jewelry, moncler, louis vuitton, supra shoes, juicy couture outlet, montre pas cher, moncler, canada goose outlet, ugg pas cher, swarovski crystal, links of london, juicy couture outlet, moncler outlet, moncler, canada goose, canada goose uk, louis vuitton, lancel, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, canada goose outlet, canada goose, michael kors outlet online, hollister, moncler, moncler, ugg boots uk, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, thomas sabo, canada goose, swarovski, sac louis vuitton pas cher, coach outlet

 

Post a Comment

<< Home