Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Faceplant

I attended a breakfast seminar this morning and it occurred to me that this probably ranks fairly high as one of life's little ironies. A breakfast seminar starts at 7.30 a.m. and wraps up at 9 a.m. sharp so that all attendees will be spared the inconvenience of missing more than half an hour's work. For this opportunity, attendees have to greet the day as early as 6 a.m. and get out of the house by 7 a.m. How it could be possible for someone who got up at 6 in the morning to be able to absorb and digest facts and legal arguments by 7.30 a.m. is beyond me. I for one feel like I have been exhumed, dragged out of a crypt by my hair and then forced to shake hands and exchange namecards with complete strangers. And I'm sure that's how I looked.

As luck would have it, I sat next to a very intriguing PR manager who kept me awake. It's not a compliment. I've always lamented that it's impossible to be sleepy and irritated at the same time. You're either one or the other, but you can't be both. She irritated the hell out of me within 3 minutes and after that I was completely alert. She reminded me of 3 people who used to be friends and acquaintances but are no longer. Come to think of it, why is someone like that even put in charge of PR. It's like hiring the Anti-Christ for a PR position.

She insulted people. People she just met. It wasn't direct, but it was as subtle as a sledgehammer.

"I've never heard of your company before." she said to the guy on my right, who is the country manager of a rather international recruitment firm.

"Your accent is funny." she said, to the guy on her left, an Irishman.

"See you around ... I suppose." she said to me and a colleague when we were parting. "I never attend these events." she said, in leaving. Yes. Maybe you should stop attending. Please.

I don't think she was stupid or silly. I think she just derived pleasure from putting people down and seeing the looks on their faces. I can never understand people like that. I had a friend of some 20 years who put me down constantly throughout 3 dinners in a row and since then I have not been able to meet her due to my busy personal schedule. So what are you people up to these days, she would ask. And then laugh when I tell her and say "you're so provincial", or "that's so boring" or "that's just so typically Singaporean", as if she had not spent the first 18 years of her life in Singapore. Honey, did I say we spend our days digging for cassava and licking ants off trees for extra nutrition? And when she said getting married and having children was "so typically Singaporean", I almost ground my back tooth off I was so irritated.

Yes, as you can see, Singapore is the only country where the population is actually increasing in the traditional way. In central London (just behind Harrods) which is where you come from, everyone is 20 years old forever in the latest Galliano and they reproduce by mitosis. You can be as cosmopolitan as you think you are, sweetie, but is your passport still red?

16 Comments:

At 12:55 PM, Blogger Fore! said...

Do you still consume oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide? Man, that's like SOOOOO typical for a carbon-based life form ...

 
At 12:37 AM, Blogger Little Miss Drinkalot said...

"Phew! For a while I thought I really was talking to an obnoxious bitch. It's so nice to know you're not actually here."

 
At 12:31 PM, Blogger Cobalt Paladin said...

Met a lady like that. I was at an ceremony accepting an award for my company. At the pre-ceremony cocktail reception, she asked me which company I represent. After I told her, she just mumbled "Never heard of it!", turned around and ignored me!

Bah!

Hmmm... could we have met the same person?

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Sounds eerily like the same person! Talk about 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon - this is 6 degrees of Mad Bitch. It is through her that we practically know each other, Cobalt.

 
At 3:55 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

hey, I know yr friend! and yr PR woman sounds just like my ex boss. I just pity them.

 
At 2:10 PM, Blogger HairyDonut said...

Gremlin: So who's "yr friend"?

 
At 12:54 PM, Blogger gremlin said...

oh you know. are you trying to frame me yet again?! you cow. next time you get your boobs done and dun want the world to know, you know who not to tell.

 
At 2:44 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

nike free, kate spade handbags, nike air max, michael kors outlet, christian louboutin, coach purses, oakley vault, tiffany and co jewelry, christian louboutin outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, coach outlet store online, tory burch outlet, louis vuitton outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, coach outlet, louis vuitton outlet, jordan shoes, chanel handbags, louis vuitton, kate spade outlet online, louis vuitton handbags, polo ralph lauren outlet, burberry outlet online, red bottom shoes, true religion outlet, longchamp handbags, ray ban outlet, true religion, prada outlet, michael kors outlet online, tiffany jewelry, gucci handbags, polo ralph lauren, michael kors outlet online, oakley sunglasses, christian louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet store, michael kors outlet online, nike air max, longchamp outlet, nike shoes, longchamp outlet online, prada handbags, michael kors outlet online, coach outlet, burberry outlet online

 
At 2:59 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

longchamp pas cher, chaussure louboutin, longchamp, nike air force, nike free, hollister, sac michael kors, vans pas cher, nike air max, nike air max, converse pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, lacoste pas cher, nike blazer pas cher, new balance pas cher, louis vuitton, louis vuitton pas cher, oakley pas cher, ralph lauren, air jordan, lululemon, mulberry, timberland, guess pas cher, burberry pas cher, louis vuitton uk, sac vanessa bruno, true religion outlet, michael kors uk, nike roshe, nike free pas cher, barbour, ray ban uk, nike roshe run, hollister, air max pas cher, tn pas cher, ray ban pas cher, north face, air max, sac louis vuitton, scarpe hogan, hermes pas cher, true religion jeans, michael kors canada, ralph lauren pas cher, north face pas cher

 
At 3:08 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

north face jackets, birkin bag, ugg soldes, p90x workout, ferragamo shoes, mac cosmetics, marc jacobs outlet, nike huarache, bottega veneta, babyliss pro, ghd, north face outlet, mcm handbags, herve leger, uggs outlet, canada goose outlet, insanity workout, giuseppe zanotti, soccer jerseys, rolex watches, jimmy choo shoes, canada goose outlet, celine handbags, mont blanc pens, ugg, beats headphones, ugg boots, chi flat iron, uggs on sale, canada goose, soccer shoes, wedding dresses, asics shoes, hollister, valentino shoes, reebok shoes, longchamp, lululemon outlet, ugg outlet, new balance outlet, abercrombie and fitch, nfl jerseys, vans outlet, roshe run, canada goose outlet, nike trainers, instyler ionic styler

 
At 3:15 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

air max, juicy couture outlet, louboutin, canada goose, wedding dress, louis vuitton canada, canada goose, ralph lauren, uggs canada, moncler outlet, thomas sabo uk, replica watches, parajumpers outlet, gucci, pandora jewelry, converse shoes, hollister clothing, nike air max, swarovski jewelry, converse, karen millen, montre femme, coach outlet, swarovski uk, timberland shoes, moncler, moncler, hollister, supra shoes, pandora charms, ray ban, links of london uk, oakley, juicy couture outlet, moncler, lancel, canada goose uk, toms outlet, baseball bats, pandora uk, iphone 6 case, vans, ugg, moncler, canada goose pas cher, hollister canada, moncler, moncler

 
At 9:11 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, tory burch outlet, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, longchamp outlet, burberry, louboutin shoes, ray ban sunglasses, prada handbags, louis vuitton outlet, gucci outlet, louis vuitton, chanel handbags, longchamp, michael kors outlet, louboutin outlet, nike free, ugg boots, polo ralph lauren outlet, oakley sunglasses, nike air max, replica watches, christian louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, longchamp outlet, tiffany jewelry, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, kate spade outlet, prada outlet, nike outlet, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet, uggs on sale, louboutin, tiffany and co, louis vuitton, burberry outlet online, nike air max, jordan shoes, ugg boots, cheap oakley sunglasses

 
At 9:18 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

ray ban pas cher, kate spade handbags, nike roshe, vans pas cher, lacoste pas cher, nike roshe run, abercrombie and fitch, true religion jeans, timberland, nike air max, coach factory outlet, true religion outlet, burberry, michael kors, coach purses, vanessa bruno, michael kors, converse pas cher, hollister pas cher, nike blazer, michael kors, oakley pas cher, tn pas cher, ray ban uk, mulberry, louboutin pas cher, hogan, ralph lauren uk, michael kors, coach outlet, sac guess, new balance pas cher, air force, nike free, lululemon, ralph lauren pas cher, coach outlet, north face, hermes, nike air max, true religion jeans, nike air max, sac longchamp, hollister, true religion jeans, north face, longchamp pas cher, air max, air jordan pas cher, nike free run uk

 
At 9:22 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

louboutin, birkin bag, hollister, longchamp, ghd, insanity workout, nike roshe, beats by dre, hollister, oakley, nike air max, jimmy choo shoes, celine handbags, hollister, asics running shoes, gucci, giuseppe zanotti, vans, wedding dresses, timberland boots, mont blanc, north face outlet, valentino shoes, bottega veneta, soccer jerseys, mcm handbags, chi flat iron, lululemon, ray ban, abercrombie and fitch, new balance, ralph lauren, mac cosmetics, north face outlet, iphone 6 cases, nike air max, instyler, babyliss, herve leger, baseball bats, nfl jerseys, ferragamo shoes, nike trainers, reebok shoes, nike huarache, converse outlet, p90x workout, converse, vans shoes, soccer shoes

 
At 9:27 AM, Blogger oakleyses said...

toms shoes, moncler, pandora charms, pandora jewelry, michael kors handbags, barbour, replica watches, moncler, doudoune canada goose, pandora charms, wedding dresses, doke gabbana outlet, canada goose, louis vuitton, bottes ugg, barbour jackets, louis vuitton, karen millen, michael kors outlet, marc jacobs, pandora jewelry, moncler, louis vuitton, supra shoes, juicy couture outlet, montre pas cher, moncler, canada goose outlet, ugg pas cher, swarovski crystal, links of london, juicy couture outlet, moncler outlet, moncler, canada goose, canada goose uk, louis vuitton, lancel, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, canada goose outlet, canada goose, michael kors outlet online, hollister, moncler, moncler, ugg boots uk, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, thomas sabo, canada goose, swarovski, sac louis vuitton pas cher, coach outlet

 

Post a Comment

<< Home