A Refreshing Change...

from my usual Nigerian correspondence arrived just this afternoon by email. Nothing like some unexpected entertainment after a heavy lunch.

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Dear Sir

RE: Financial Assistance for Studies in University of Oxford or University of Cambridge

I have just graduated from [some University] with a First Class Honours degree in Bachelor of Laws. I was the Best Oralist in Malaysia and the First Runner-up in the prestigious [some prize or other] which was held in Washington D.C.

I have been offered by University of Oxford and University of Cambridge to read my Master of Laws this September. The total fees and expenses are about £25,000.00. I am unable to come up with this huge amount of money. I wonder whether your esteemed firm could sponsor my studies in either of the aforesaid universities. I am prepared to work with your firm upon completion of my studies.

In the event that your firm is unable to accomodate my request, I would appreciate if you could kindly assist to source for other means of funding from any other corporations/institutions/individuals.

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Hell yeah. I'm taking out my chequebook as I type this. Emails like this really inspire me to step up my game. After all, my total expenses for all the clothes jewellery and furniture I need to buy, not to mention my mortgage, are about US$1,500,000. I too am unable to come up with this money. Maybe if I go whining to my boss and say that I am prepared to work with his firm upon completion of my shopping trip in Paris, he'll open up his heart and his wallet to me too. And if he can't accommodate my request, he'll just have to assist me in getting the money from some other sap.