Seminar Dog

Am giving yet another seminar this afternoon despite my swearing off seminars forever as my teeth cannot take the constant grinding and are starting to show considerable wear and tear. It was a combination of the last minute request, an attractive attendee list and a former acquaintance on the telephone pleading for help. God. Now I'm in full panic mode, plus I went to sleep last night with wet hair with the consequences we now see in the mirror.

One of the other speakers at today's seminar has started a Speaker's Guild, which really is more like a Speaker's Union since its main purpose is to improve the conditions of a speaker's appointment. For one thing, each attendee pays anything from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars to attend each seminar. Do they know, I wonder, that not a single cent of this goes to any of the speakers? Depending on the length of the seminar, anything from 70 - 90% of the proceeds go to the organisers, whom no one ever sees because they just book the venue, send out flyers, collect the cash and send some young lady to go babysit the seminar itself. At one seminar in particular, the organisers made S$50,000 in pure profit, after deducting the venue costs. Each speaker received a complimentary name card holder.

Does the audience also know, I wonder, that the speakers don't know who they are? Not through lack of asking. It's like asking the organiser to give us the keys to their safe or something. Who are the attendees, I ask. Sorry. We can't tell you. Yes, I've bitched about this before but it still pisses me off.

Finally, there is the issue of equipment failure. If the microphone fails or the slides don't work properly, it's the speaker that's going to look like a complete eejit while the organiser's babysitter sits quietly in the audience hoping for a miracle. Unless, of course, they're not actually in the audience - they're outside reading a book.