I have in my hot little hands a self-evaluation form which I will need to complete within the next day or so. It's an exam which I really can't see myself passing. I'd think it was a cruel joke but for the fact that my boss is completely serious about me filling this up to the best of my ability. Some particularly horrifying questions:
1. Rate yourself - do you have a good grasp of legal principles? Can you apply law effectively? Do you make a strong positive impression on clients?
My answer: I have a good grasp of my handbag in a crowded place. I can apply moisturiser effectively. I can (and will) make a strong positive impression on the eyeball of the electrical contractor who fucked up the wiring in my bedroom, if I ever find him.
Oh God. There's 14 pages of this.
no, no, no...
ReplyDeleteanswer should be:
1. YES. YES. YES.
easy what! very fast one!
I say, use "Absolutely." for everything. To save time, just type "Absolutely to everything" on your screen and print in font 72. Staple to evaluation form and you're all set. Bonus should look good. Send the ang-pows, send the ang-pows, send the ang-pows...btw, am gonna complain against a lousy bus-driver soon. am targetting bus-drivers now. taxi drivers are ok here. :)
ReplyDeleteoh hey gremlin... if it is not too much trouble, can you also throw in a comment that bus drivers here don't seem to know how to regulate the air-con temperatures in their respective buses. they like to drive freezers-on-wheels, complete with condensation running down the outside of the window panels.
ReplyDeleteOh! I should have given you both a formal introduction.
ReplyDeleteGremlin is another IJ girl whom I've known since Sec 3.
She used to live and work in Singapore where she terrorized taxi drivers but now lives in Vancouver where she torments bus drivers.
Valkyrie - sure! My pleasure.
ReplyDeleteHairyD - does not mean I can't write complaint letters about Spore bus drivers too. U know the gremlin. Who's Valkyrie? IJ ian too?
ReplyDeleteYes, but I think you are out of your depth here Gremlin since you do not take buses in Singapore.
ReplyDeleteShe's almost from IJ - she is from St. Nicholas!
haha! sorry i'm late! it's been a long week...
ReplyDeleteyes, i think towards the end of my secondary school days in St. Nicks, it suddenly became clearer that we were supposed to be part of IJ.
aiya! wrong country? it would be absolutely fantastic if you could complain about singapore-bus-drivers, i think you'll be alot more effective than me!
speaking of which, i took the trouble to note down the license plate of one particular bus driver who doesn't know how to brake properly. yesterday i was bus-sick, and today i waited for the same bus (recognised him by face, confirmed his identity by his gut-wrenching braking method) to note the license plate number. let's see if i remember to actually send a complaint!
out of my what?! geez. am gremlin, know? Valkyrie, you go girl. DON'T forget to send that letter. you're doing society a favour - do it. do it. kill off them lousy drivers.
ReplyDeleteand OI! St Nics is not almost IJ. Sorry Valkyrie, no offence. Hairydo's just ....confused.....don't send your ang-moh son to acs and claim kinda like sji, k....sure kena killed. ya know what I mean - 2 glam schools, yet 2 different school. harlow.
haha! sji and acs definitely apple and orange.
ReplyDeleteyah, we were also confused. we used to be very clear that we were not IJ but then they suddenly added CHIJ to our foolscap papers, i think it was in my final year. maybe some kinda china-taiwan politics going on!
still too busy to write the letter... i hope i won't forget after CNY!
haha! sji and acs definitely apple and orange.
ReplyDeleteyah, we were also confused. we used to be very clear that we were not IJ but then they suddenly added CHIJ to our foolscap papers, i think it was in my final year. maybe some kinda china-taiwan politics going on!
still too busy to write the letter... i hope i won't forget after CNY!
write before cny! via email! am so cruel. if he's chinese, he better "pay back" before CNY (ie. apologise) or forever he will owe. what a nasty curse. am so nasty. ignore me.
ReplyDeletehahaha! oh well, it's too late now. CNY is in progress! :)
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