Amazement of the Day

I thought I should mention this in case anyone reading this has had a similar experience.

So I tell my mother, like the filial daughter I like to think I am, that I've just gotten a raise. How much, says my mother, subtle as a sledgehammer. So I tell her. And I believe she was probably happy for about 1.5 seconds and then the whole dynamic of our conversation changes.

"How come so much?"

"WHAT? What do you mean? Not very much what. I think [ classmate ] is earning more."

"Yah, but it's still more than what I was getting when I was your age".

I wanted to say, when you were my age, we were still in the '70s. Not to be overly nostalgic or anything, but you could get a cinema ticket for S$2.50 in the '70s. And on top of that, they didn't stop you at the door to check if you were bringing in "outside food". Plus if you looked around in the 1970s, everything would be sepia coloured. BECAUSE IT'S THE '70s.

Why is this woman competing with me? She's my MOTHER for goodness sake. Did God say to Jesus Christ, Hey Pal, more people invoke your name in vain than they invoke mine. Stop that.