Of Lightning Rods and Loose Women

One of my neighbours has seen fit to set up a lightning rod on the roof of his house. Most people who do this don't attract the kind of publicity that the neighbour does, but it could be because their lightning rods aren't competing with the house to see which one is taller. Neither do they hang bright yellow Christmas lights from the tip of the lightning rod to each corner of the house, thus creating a crazy steeple effect.

Driving back home the other day, I thought we had turned into the wrong neighbourhood when a 6-storey structure with Christmas lights suddenly loomed ahead. It looks like a half-lit church. To add insult to injury, I have a great view of it from my bedroom. Who the hell in their right mind does something like this - Victor Frankenstein? A lightning rod that tall will invite lightning strikes. If I hear a monstrous roar one of these rainy nights, I'll know that a great bolt of lightning struck, causing electricity to travel down the fricking ridiculous Christmas lights to reanimate a dead body.

I'm sure the property prices in my estate have plummeted because of that hideous thing. Argh!! Argh!!Argh!!Argh!!

Speaking of loose women, a colleague of mine recently had the joy of entertaining a female insurance agent in his office for an hour. She just sat there like a lump but didn't actually try to sell him anything. His view of it is, this is just a soft sell. She will not try to sell him anything until they get to know each other better. I thought about it at some length last night. They've had coffee, they've had dinner, they've had ... an hour of chatting in his office, where people are accustomed to thinking of ... official things. And she still didn't bring up the topic of any insurance products. My view is that, either she's completely ineffective at selling insurance, or she's keen on him, and has basically done everything to make herself available except for asking him out.

I know she's interested in me, said he, after I decided to share my secret but ever so incisive opinions. But I'm not interested in her. What should I do?

Damned if I know. Most guys I've met who aren't interested just won't ask me out (let alone coffee, dinner and then one hour of extra time). If I show interest, they'll just behave like complete assholes and put me off. One guy told me he was gay. Granted that I had responded to his personal ad wherein he actually said he was gay. Who knew?