Still.

When I worked 35 hours straight for the very first time in my life, I felt horrible but hey, everyone has to put in the hours when they're a rookie. Now I'm not a rookie, but I've just done another 37 straight hours, with 1 hour's sleep, and it's not even for the second time in my life. Frankly, I've lost count of the number of times I've done this. And it's getting a little old (as am I).

I've got tunnel vision, everything seems awfully difficult (I've left a chocolate sitting on the coffee table, and just can't get my mind around what I need to do about it) and my mood is not fantastic.

It's probably grief. My wonderful adopted country just had its general elections. Now the guns are coming out, just as they do every 5 years, and we all have to watch a public execution. It's so sad. I feel like it's the day after 9/11. They should just merge the entire country into one constituency (Tanjong Pagar) and spare us the hurt and frustration of another election.

Do the powers that be know that this builds up? It doesn't go away. People remember. You can stifle discussion, but not memory. You can reframe the issues but it comes across like McDonalds trying to convince us that its food is really healthy.

There's also the strange irony of reading about how some old guy is trying to beat the murder rap by saying he was confused about what his China mistress actually meant when she said she loved him. The newspapers have written and re-written the versions a few times, but really it boils down to this - she told him she loved him, he thought she was making a suicide pact for both of them to die together, then he killed her and then changed his mind about the suicide pact and there was a towel and some money.

So he was confused? Distracted? Is he now sorry that he has caused so much distress?

The interplay of confused murderer media coverage with confused formfiller media coverage is probably funny but I'm still in mourning so I'll save the laugh for later.

If I could say something to the ruling party, it would be this. Your results and what you have done for our country speak for themselves. They speak with dignity and their words are measured. But you drown it out by picking on opposition parties and using words that you have to retract and apologise for. You are already respected by the world for your deeds and accomplishments. Please. Behave like the class act that you are. Just. stop.

It's kind of like when it's the time of the month. I get angry with everyone. I'd like to get even with everyone. This person farted in the lift. This person stole my taxi. This person splashed me when she wash hands at the public toilet. THEY ALL MUST PAY. And then I'm so busy with all these vengeful thoughts that I forget to zip up my skirt.