Never too old to be truly vain

It's true.

My task yesterday evening was to take a new mugshot for my firm's website. My boss initially suggested that perhaps I could get my secretary to take a photograph of me using her electronic camera and upload it. Actually he didn't really get to the end of that sentence because my eyes had popped out of their sockets and my mouth had fallen open, but I'm guessing that's what he meant to say. Anyway, after some ... clarification, he agreed for me to have the mugshots professionally done ("by a REAL photographer") and photoshopped, for the bargain basement price of just under S$200.

So that's how I ended up at [photo studio that won't be named] last evening, in front of a mirror and slathering on the makeup with a trowel. To his credit, the photographer waited about 15 minutes before popping his head in and asking if I was ready.

Do you want above the neck? Mid-body? Head and shoulders?

I want to look nice.

Ok, so mid-body? How about waist up?

As long as I look pretty.

What about head and shoulders?

Look. I don't care what you are going to do. I just want to look pretty. I want to look like I don't have a baby who wakes me up twice every night. I just. want. to. look. pretty. Do you have a glow feature? Can you use soft focus?

Some people just don't get it.

Anyway, for a selection of 8 shots, the guy ended up taking almost 40 photos. I changed the lighting, changed the camera angle, directed the camera height and changed the background twice. When I saw the first few shots, I wanted to change the photographer. And by "change the photographer", I really mean that I wanted to disembowel the photographer and stuff his guts down his throat with a fork.

Depending on the results, I may put up the shot in the next post. If I don't, then you might get a call from me asking to help move the body.